Our survival instinct faded with civilization. As a result, we are no longer constantly on the lookout for danger, since our life is no longer threatened on a daily basis. Well, although it’s much more pleasant in our everyday life, it does have a pernicious consequence since we are no longer able to react properly to danger. One must bear in mind that although danger is far less present in our modern life, it has not disappeared entirely.
We are therefore less prepared to deal with it than we were before. Worse, we can be paralyzed in front of danger. This is what we call the inhibition effect.
Some people even think that being on the lookout in the street is being paranoid. Do you see how civilization disconnected us from reality?
These people are often brimming with good feelings. To them, everything is about love, peace, generosity, and so on.
But what if they were holding, despite themselves, part of the solution…?
Table of Contents
All equals, all violent?
We are taught from a very young age a whole bunch of rules that are necessary to live in society. Whatever can be said of some people’s lack of education, most of us are respectful towards the physical integrity of the ones around us.
We would never be tempted to racket someone in the street or to beat them up on a whim or because they do not belong to our “community”, or to our social group. This is called “inhibition”, meaning that our primary impulses no longer come to the fore as they might have done in the era of prehistoric men who had no choice but to defend their territories against all kinds of aggression. The urge to give in to violence is still there, but we no longer submit to it (at least in general).
These impulses became obsolete, incompatible with social life, and dangerous for the cohesion of the social fabric. Individuals who manifested these primary instincts were banned from society, which is why these traits have become less and less prevalent over time.
The fact remains that some people have not really evolved and that, as a result of poor education, bad company, etc., a form of exacerbated aggression comes back up in some individuals.
Not everyone has the same inhibition towards violence, and we can see that it is the individuals who are most submissive to their basic instincts who have the upper hand over the majority of those who are not (or no longer) used to physical or verbal violence (and even less used to replying to it).
Therein lies the paradox: the evolution that was supposed to improve our condition now turns us into potential victims!
However, it happens that all these locks jump violently and that a seemingly harmless person suddenly turns into a wild beast prepared to go to any extreme.
All means become good to annihilate the threat: low blows, scratches, bites, etc. Inhibition is wiped out and violence becomes natural again, as if something deeply buried was coming back to the surface.
By what mysterious feeling does anyone manage to change from a victim ready to literally let himself die, to a bloodthirsty animal? The answer is quite simple: love!
How love can make you destroy your aggressor (or how a Care Bear can turn into a killing machine)
This is quite obvious when you stop thinking about it, but to say straight away without context that love is the best weapon to defend yourself could have been interpreted as extremely unmanly!
Yet love is an extremely powerful lever to overcome an aggressive situation. Actually, by love, we mean:
- Love of one’s relatives: The urge to protect a loved one (such as a child) usually transcends our own desire to survive. We are ready to make any sacrifice to protect our child from a deadly danger!
Consider a mother in a self defense class and ask her to imagine sticking her thumbs into the eyeballs of an assailant to defend herself from a sexual assault. It is likely that she will be disgusted by such a picture! To gouge out the eyes is indeed not trivial.
Now ask her to explain how she would react to a pedophile about to kidnap her 6 years old daughter. She might respond in a very different way! The “yuck” will probably magically evaporate and ripping the man’s testicles off with bare hands will seem like a formality (if not a pleasant idea). - Love of oneself: In order to have the will to defend oneself in case of aggression, you must show minimum respect for yourself. If you consider yourself as a nobody and think your life has no value or that “it’s only a body after all”, that it is justice’s role to address to violence, that violence cannot solve anything, etc. than you might remain what you are, that is a victim! Things won’t change if you do not have the will to protect yourself in the first place. The perpetrator will have a field day.
Someone who “loves himself” (not a narcissist, but someone who legitimately believes that no one has the right to lay a hand on him) will not let himself be pushed around. Mechanically, social inhibitions will have less of a hold on such a person who will find it easier to “let the beast loose”.
Self defense occurs in the head, long before the fists. As such, it entails that you have to beware of the danger first, but above all you have to know how to react. Adapt one’s behavior to the situation and improvise are the foundation of the discipline.
To make it all work, you need motivation. And this is the role of love, to motivate us enough so as to let go of inhibitions.
Love of others, love of oneself, love of life, these are psychological driving forces.
