In this video from the online course “Martial Studies: Defense Against Multiple Attackers” discover why it is essential to have self-confidence to be effective in self defense.
Table of Contents
Follow your instinct
What you have to remember is that in an assault, whether it’s in the street or not, what’s going to come out are instinctive gestures, a bit like those of animals: that means that you may scratch or even bite the attacker. However, when we mention biting to save your life, there are always some people who oppose.
That’s not the best option, I know, but if things go sour, if it is to avoid being raped for instance. “He’s going to rape you, aren’t you going to rip his ear off?” – “Of course I will!”. And I noticed that these are mostly women, even mothers, who tend to react in this way: men too, but not so much. “We’re a bit more savages when it comes to that matter”.
It has to do with maternal instinct!
Usually, when I tell mothers “This man wants to rape you, or hit you, or whatever, so bite them, scratch them, or poke their eye out”, they are not necessarily convinced that this is the right reaction to have. On the other hand, if I tell them it’s their child who is being assaulted and they witness it, and if, in the face of this critical situation, we suggest to them, because it’s so serious that it justifies that they burst the eyes of the attacker, or even cut off his arm, break his fingers and so on, well they can do it without any problem. They say something like “Oh yeah, you don’t have to tell me twice, I’ll just go ahead and smash his balls.”
Self-esteem = self-confidence
This is interesting. It means that to save ourselves, we don’t dare being so brutal, but when it comes to someone we love, whether it’s our children, our husband, or others, we react differently. Well, some people wouldn’t because they don’t love them. I often say that if the kid gets molested, and if he is too much of a pain in the ass at home and doesn’t listen, let him go, it will give you a break – “You want to kidnap him? Well, I wish you good luck” – I’M KIDDING.
So you also need to have strong self-esteem, it’s very important! You can learn self defense for 4 to 5 hours a day, 3 or 4 times a week, if you don’t have any self-esteem, it will be useless, because your reptilian brain will think “well yes, you get hit, but hey, since you don’t give a damn about yourself, just let it happen.” – I’m exaggerating of course, it’s much more complicated than that in our brain.
If you have enough self-esteem, the simple fact of saying “No, you don’t have the right to touch me.” is already a victory. Then, will you be able to defend yourself as you want? This is the challenge of self defense, but it all starts with you and your self-esteem.
Everyone is different.
For instance, overweight people are going to think “I cannot run away…” – “Well, I’ll let two dogs chase after you, and we’ll see” Do you remember the scene when Jean-Claude Vandamme holds a piece of meat? In the movie “Kickboxer” Imagine that you have a small piece of meat stuck to your thigh and that you end up with a dog running after you. Strangely enough, no matter how much weight you’re carrying, some of them will run, maybe even climb a tree – just kidding.
Remember that everything starts with self-esteem and self-confidence! If you don’t have that, you can do a lot of moves, a lot of nice techniques, but deep down you won’t be confident in what you’re doing and you’ll get overwhelmed!
Most of the time, attackers are confident! Especially when they are not alone…
